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Free For All 1

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Please keep content and language PG-13. Other than that...no holds barred!


Alice loved lolita more than anything else ever. She discovered the look while browsing the manga section of Borders, and came across a Gothic & Lolita Bible. The book spoke to her heart. She was meant to be lolita.

Once she began to wear the clothes, she started posting pictures of herself online for the other lolitas to see. She was so proud of herself and excited to participate.

Then one day while searching the internet, she came across one of her pictures someone had posted in group called plzleavelolita. Everything they said about her was terrible! They made fun of every aspect of her outfit, saying it was all wrong. The person who posted the picture, named "pinkfingers", said Alice looked like she'd wrapped herself in double-sided tape, rolled around in the Salvation Army, and bought whatever stuck to her.

It was so unfair. Only her shoes were from the Salvation Army.

"Oh no!" Alice wailed at her computer screen.. "What am I going to do?!"

(AUTHOR'S NOTE: Ha ha, God, I'm hilarious.)


( 20 comments — Leave a comment )
Mar. 19th, 2009 06:01 pm (UTC)
If you have any comments, please reply to this thread.

Edited at 2009-03-19 06:02 pm (UTC)
Mar. 19th, 2009 06:49 pm (UTC)
This is hilarious! After commenting, I realized I'm gonna have to work on humorous writing to participate fully. I'm definitely used to more serious stuff.
What a great idea! Thanks again for the comm XD
Mar. 19th, 2009 08:10 pm (UTC)
I'm glad you think it's funny, because I actually think I'm a dingdong.

I almost named "pinkfingers" celticfreefa1l, but I decided against it in the end.

Edited at 2009-03-19 08:12 pm (UTC)
Mar. 19th, 2009 08:13 pm (UTC)
*dies laughing* that name was hilarious all on its own, even. I have a hard time making fun of egl though, cause I enjoy all of it so much, even the wank; and even though the noobs annoy me, I do understand where most of them [at least the ones worthy of being a protagonist of any sort] are coming from. I re-read what I had written and was like "wait, that's not hilarious at all, wtf Sunny!" *sigh* This little project is going to be so much fun!
Mar. 19th, 2009 09:18 pm (UTC)
We all start somewhere - I, for example, did indeed make the eBay-ita mistake. (Thankfully I got over it quickly, and egl was none-the-wiser.)

I've always been a fan of wank; I'm hoping silly stories like these will help people vent a little.
Mar. 19th, 2009 06:32 pm (UTC)
Upon further investigation (investigation, here meaning posting a thread asking for advice on egl) Alice was told by several members that to truly be a lolita, one needed to buy and wear burando only! But Alice had no job! She was also told that no self-respecting lolita would ever work in the service industry, even a maid cafe! Fast food? Horrors!

"Drat!" Alice exclaimed! She posted in her personal blog about her disappointment in herself and her fashion choices. "I don't even know the difference between good and bad lace!" she wrote.

Meanwhile, the mysterious "pinkfingers" tittered to themselves, rubbing her lacy-gloved hands together and taking another, slow chomp on the pastel petit-four held daintily between her perfect, white teeth, the blue light sending shadows on the wall -- a silhouette of her flowery headress bobbing in time to the increasingly maniacal laughter!
Mar. 19th, 2009 08:13 pm (UTC)
Maid cafe, hahahaa....
Mar. 19th, 2009 06:45 pm (UTC)
It all seemed so strange to her. The style so new and different, the community's attitudes so shocking and disparaging, but she would not be deterred!

She thought about the Salvation Army comment. The organization raised money to help people in need. That was certainly something a young princess would do. And second-hand or not, to work surrounded by beautiful clothes and to help those who were in a bit of an impoverished situation like her, it certainly sounded appropriate! But she feared the other community members would never understand. This must be an entirely covert operation!

She resolved to apply for a job, and read everything she could about the fashion, lace and all, and see if perhaps she could find something among the racks of A-line skirts and grandma sweaters that might not result in her rejection, ridicule, and revilement!
Mar. 19th, 2009 09:20 pm (UTC)
You write like I do! Everything is exciting! It requires exclamation points! Lots!!!!!
Mar. 19th, 2009 09:21 pm (UTC)
Oh God I hadn't even realized! XD! I must always do it now! Hurrah!
Mar. 19th, 2009 11:15 pm (UTC)
After hours upon hours of searching, Alice came across a mint, gingham skirt with a built-in petticoat. Pround of her purchase, she rushed home. Safely in the confines of her bedroom, Alice slipped off her drab, grey jeans and into the skirt. Staring at her reflection, she noticed that it vaguely resembled something one would wear to a square dance.
Mar. 19th, 2009 11:49 pm (UTC)
Oh, the poor dear.
Mar. 20th, 2009 01:21 pm (UTC)
I'm seriously laughing hard.
Mar. 20th, 2009 12:30 am (UTC)
Hm. Maybe not quite. It probably needed more lace, or perhaps a few dozen bows. Tiny bears were a maybe, since they had recently begun to go down in popularity after the release of a few unicorn prints. Hesitant to whip out her glue gun and just haphazardly start sticking on decorations--after all, her last efforts had only resulted in shame and sorrow for our heroine; she'd had to go through half a box of girl scout cookies before she felt better--Alice decided to post on her private journal to ask for advice. Using her cell-phone and the bedroom mirror, our anxious heroine snapped a few shots of herself wearing the skirt and uploaded them to photobucket lickety-split! Yes! Surely she’d gain the acceptance of her beruffled comrades after she jazzed up this skirt and posted an equally stunning photo shoot.

But that was counting her burando before it cleared customs, Alice reminded herself sternly. First, she needed to get a job to afford the awesomesauce modifications she would make. Quite the quandary. What sort of job could she take? What sort of job would be rori enough to avoid further ridicule?
Mar. 20th, 2009 01:39 pm (UTC)
perhaps a few dozen bows

See, I know you're joking here, but that's what I think when I see loliable skirts....

Tiny bears were a maybe, since they had recently begun to go down in popularity after the release of a few unicorn prints.

HAHAhaaa, unicorn prints. Also, "awesomesauce".
Mar. 20th, 2009 02:58 pm (UTC)
I have a very similar through process. Just replace 'bows' with 'ruffles' and we're in business. :D
Mar. 20th, 2009 06:14 pm (UTC)
Also, I'm using "counting her burando before it cleared customs" from now on.
Mar. 20th, 2009 06:13 pm (UTC)
While Alice was busy job searching, the internet was abuzz with gossip. The cruel lolitas on plzleavelolita had discovered her latest attempt at the fashion. Banjo-plucking was mentioned. There were taunts about her anime posters, visible in the background of her photos, as well as her Hello Kitty bedspread.

But what Alice didn't know couldn't feather her ruffles, and so she went about her job hunting with determination.
Mar. 23rd, 2009 11:14 pm (UTC)
Unfortunately, Alice didn't have a car, and there was nothing but suburbia as far as the eye could see in any direction from her house. Her only tragic option was to rely upon the city bus system to take her closer to any possibly places of employment.

After five hours of looking for 'help wanted' signs around town, Alice's hopes of finding some sweet little boutique filled with frilly clothing were suitably dashed. Even though her thread, asking if anyone knew of lolita stores in her area, had been completely ignored, Alice had still hoped against hope of finding even the smallest of stores to work in. The vague beginnings of throbbing feet and fatigue were slowly, but surely, sending her moral lower and lower as the day progressed.

Alice all but gave up hope when she saw, tacked to a cork board in Starbucks, a flier that caught her eye.
Mar. 29th, 2009 10:53 pm (UTC)
"Baby-sitter wanted, 12 dollars per hour. Call ____ for more info"

It wasn't the most elegant of jobs but it would have to do. As she waited for her bus, Alice dialed the number on the notice she'd taken down. No answer. She tried again,
"Hi hi!" answered a high-pitched voice.
"Eh, hello? I'm calling about the baby-sitting ad" replied Alice, unsure as to who'm she was talking to.
"Oh.. Mommy!" the voice yelled. After about a minute, another voice came on line.
"Hello? Mrs Fonder speaking."
( 20 comments — Leave a comment )